vacation!

+2.2 pounds.

Now let me preface this by saying it does suck, but I'm not at all self-loathing or disappointed in myself.  First of all, I knew this would happen if I ate anything I wanted to in Kauai.  I made half-assed attempts to eat some healthy things and some not healthy things, but at the end of the day, I wasn't really trying.  BUT I'M OKAY WITH THAT.  I was on vacation, and I truly enjoyed myself.  Justin and I had a FANTASTIC time, and we both loved it, and everything about the trip was great.

It may have been better if when we had gotten back from Kauai on Sunday, I had jumped back on my diet wagon.  But when we got to his parents house, his dad is redoing the kitchen, so we ate out pretty much every day for all meals.  Haha, so honestly, 2.2 isn't bad considering my diet consisted of sushi, samurai noodle, pizza twice, taco bell, and other terrible (but delicious) meals.  Haha, but now I'm back in Pullman, and ready to pick up where I left off.

And honestly, my body misses working out.  I can feel it.  I worked out once, the second day we were in Kauai.  My body clock wasn't adjusting as well as everyone else's, so I was awake at 6 AM.  I went down to the little 1990's work out room our condo had and do a half hour on the elliptical.  I felt SO much better after that.  Obviously I was still getting exercise by swimming and walking and stuff, but its not the same.  I love that my body craves exercise now.  I remember last June, when I started this, and Justin would have to drag me kicking and screaming out the door to go walking.  :)

I'll post one picture from Kauai for now.  I picked this one because a friend commented on it and said that I should frame it...lol.  I guess my posting it shows that I AM more comfortable with my body then ever, especially since I was allowing people to take pictures of me in my bathing suit.  lol.  I've still got a long way to go, but my confidence is building!  :)

Well, I have to get ready for work.  Here's so negative numbers for next week!

Current weight: 173.5 lbs
Weight to lose until 155:  18.5 lbs

"I'm going to give you a Hawaiian name... Peepyopee!" :)

-1.8 pounds!  Yay!

I ran from the apartment to the gyms on Monday to attend water aerobics.  Its about .8 of a mile one way.  I ran there, found out there wasn't water aerobics, so I ran most of the way back.  There's a pretty killer hill on Orchard drive that is pretty hard to run up continuously.  Haha, but I did run some more.

I woke up Tuesday with the worst back pain I've felt in a long time.  The only thing I can figure is that the running on the pavement (compared to the track in the gym) jarred the hell out of my back.  It made me pretty sad, but I figured I need to lay off a little bit.  Its getting a bit better, but god, I feel like I did when we got in the car accident like a year and a half ago.  So on Wednesday, I just walked to the gyms but did have a pretty intense water aerobics work out.  The class is super small, which is awesome.

I did indulge in a few frappachinos this week...have you guys tried the new make-your-own fraps from Starbucks?  They're so good, and through the 16th, they're half price from 3-5 PM.  I got the grande caramel light with extra coffee.  I don't know the exact stats on them, since their website hasn't posted them, but in store it says the grande is 150 calories or less, which is very awesome, considering how tasty they are!  I was a little worried they might derail me, but all in all, it looks like they didn't affect me!  And they are great, low calorie treat.

2 DAYS UNTIL KAUAI!  I've got 2 hours to pack and get everything ready to leave before Justin gets off work and we're out of here!  We're heading out from Portland on Sunday, and be back the next Sunday.  I'm not sure when my next weigh-in will be, but I promise to try and be good in Kauai.  I was looking online and the resort we're staying at has a fitness center, so maybe I'll take my shoes and run a little in the mornings to counteract all the delicious food I'm going to want to eat while we're there!

Thank you everyone who has supported me through all of this.  I'm definitely not done, but going to Kauai the skinniest I've been in a long time feels so good.


Current weight: 171.3 lbs
Weight to lose until 155:  16.3 lbs

running apparently helps!

-1.1!  Whoop whoop!

This week, I did indulge.  Justin and I went out for sushi on Saturday, which was SO SO good.  And then on Sunday evening I had a pizza party with my Old Navy employees.  I was scared for this week...2 nights in a row of eating out, and one of them at Pizza Hut!  Eek!

I stuck with my diet the rest of the week, and worked out 3 times during the week.  (Water aerobics is over, since this is finals week, but it starts back up for summer session, and Sarah said Justin and I could attend when we could.  yay!)

Besides my usual elliptical and using the weight machines, I decided to actually just run.  I made it around the track about 3 times before I felt like my lungs were going to give out on me.  Its weird that I can do the elliptical hardcore for a half hour, but I try and run...just run, and I feel like I can't breathe.  The next time I went I ran 4 laps.  I seriously haven't ran since I played soccer in high school.  Even though I'm in somewhat of a shape now, I think my stamina is super low.  Or my lungs just suck.  Either way, I think I'm going to add in some basic running into my exercise routine. 

Also, I e-mailed a lady on craigslist who wants to start a recreational soccer team for the Pullman parks and rec soccer league.  I'm SUPER excited.  From the sounds of it, she's even already found a sponsor, so we don't have to pay like the 300 dollar registration fee for the team.  I guess that's another reason I just need to start running in general...I haven't played soccer in almost 4 years, but I miss it SO much.  I really hope this works out, because I would love to play this summer.  And they're co-ed teams so Justin can play with me!  :)

8 days until Kauai!!!  YAY!  No chocolate covered macadamia nuts for me!  I googled those, and they range from 4 to 6 points for 2 to 4 pieces.  Eek!  But I love them so much...!

Current weight: 173.1 lbs
Weight to lose until 155:  18.1 lbs

damn.

-0.

The dreaded plateau is back.  I need to remember to take my green tea pills.  I know those were helping, but I can't seen to remember to take them 2 days in a row.  I'll work on that for next week.

I don't really have much else to say.  School is almost out, and Kauai is two weeks away!  I know I said I wanted to be down to the 150's when we went on vacation, but I'm okay with where I'm at.  It'll be the skinniest I've ever been on the Hawaiian islands.  :)

I always rock at dieting in the summer.  Hopefully I can get down before school starts again.

Current weight: 174.2 lbs
Weight to lose until 155:  19.2 lbs

Its crunch time!

-0.

I was slightly frustrated by this number this week.
I worked my ass off this week.  I went to water aerobics twice on Monday, walked on Tuesday, water aerobics on Wednesday, worked out at the rec on Thursday, and water aerobics again on Friday.
I made sure to get at least 20 minutes of exercise everyday this week, and I didn't cheat at my dieting once.  I had one piece of organic cake on Monday in Dr. Morgan's class.  It was probably half a serving, nothing huge.  And I still got nothing.

I honestly have no idea if it's muscle building, but that's what I'm going to go with.  Because I was definitely burning calories with all the working out I was doing.

I know I did well this week, but the scale doesn't reflect it.  Its not a big deal though.  Better luck next week.

Current weight: 174.2 lbs
Weight to lose until 155:  19.2 lbs

GOAL!

-2 pounds!  Woot!

I had to make up for last week's gain, plus a little more.  :)
I was super good this week, minus having dinner at a professor's house.  But I figure you can have one "whatever" meal a week and generally still be okay.  And I portioned everything...even though it was all terrible foods.  Well, it was great food, but not exactly friendly to someone trying to lose weight.

I'm finally overweight and not obese!  yay!  Now to move onto my next big goal.  That will  be 155, since I need a middle point between now and my ultimate goal.  I'm a little disappointed in myself that I wont be in the 150's when we go to Kauai like I had originally planned, but that's okay.  I don't need to be a certain weight to have a good time there, and believe me, I'm more comfortable with my body now then I've EVER been.  (I let Justin take a picture of me naked....a full body picture!  My fat self would've hunted that camera down and deleted that picture, even if I had to break the damn camera...lol.)

I'm still working on the cognitive part of all of this.  Like I said above, I'm WAY more comfortable in my body than I've ever been.  But I still have moments, sometimes days, where I look fat in everything, my clothes don't hang right (I guess every girl has those days though...haha,) or that all the girls in my block are skinnier than me, prettier than me.  I'm working on loving myself, fat and all.  Its going to take forever, but its another goal of mine that will be a forever goal.

Current weight: 174.2 lbs
Weight to lose in order to be 'overweight' and not 'obese': ZERO!!
Weight to lose until 155:  19.2 lbs
Current total weight loss:  49.8 lbs.

I'm disappointed in myself, not the scale.

 +0.9 lbs.

I'm pretty disappointed in myself when I got on the scale this morning.  I can make up one hundred excuses about how stressed and busy I've been the past week and a half and how I haven't even had time to make dinner for Justin and I.  But my weight gain is still my fault because of the choices I made.  Stressed or not, I hate that I still turn to food as a comfort when I'm depressed or freaking out.  I need to stop that.

I also get defensive and whiny about how its not fair that one week of not sticking to my diet can cause me to gain nearly a pound.  It just reminds me that I'll never be able to just eat whatever, and I have to count points for the rest of my life.  It sucks, but its a reality I have to come to terms with, or I'll gain all the weight back that I've lost, plus some more...just like all the other times. 

I'm strong, I can do this. 
Next week will be better.

Current weight: 176.2 lbs
Weight to lose in order to be 'overweight' and not 'obese':  1.3 lbs