Its been 51 days.

51 days is too long.  I'm sorry I've been gone so long...that I temporarily gave up.  I'm mad at myself, but apparently I wasn't mad enough to get going again.  But here I am, working to forgive myself and find that fire I found 2 summers ago--when I exercised everyday and lost nearly 50 pounds over the course of 8 months.  How awesome was that?  I need to do that again.

I currently weigh 175.9.  The wii fit told me I had only gained 0.6 lbs in the 51 days since I last weighed.  I'll admit I was extremely relieved and very surprised that barely a pound was all the damage I had done.

I can make up a million excuses for this break--preschool was stressful, work was too much, no time to exercise, ect ect.  And as much as each of those excuses had an element of truth to them, I still needed to make more time and exert the effort to continue exercising and eating right.  Like Justin has pointed out to me a couple of times now, its not like its going to get easier--I'm not going to have more time, less stress.  This is it.  This is my time.

This semester, I'm making myself exercise. 
Right now, I'm signed up for Power sculpt Mondays and Wednesdays, Zumba on Saturday, and Piyo (pilates/yoga) on Sundays. 

My dad got me The Biggest Loser game for the Kinect for Christmas.  I turned that thing on today, and it honestly and completely kicked my ass.  I picked a moderate workout for 20 minutes, and wanted to die at the end.  And I picked Bob as my trainer...somehow I feel like having Jillian Michaels yell at my would make it even harder...lol.  I figure if I can throw the Biggest Loser workout into the mix twice a week, I'll be to my goals in no time.  There's a reason those people on the TV show lose weight like they do--their work out plans are KILLER.  I'm excited for this. 

I need to be excited if I'm going to be successful this time. Excited and motivated.  They put inspirational quotes on the walls of the "work-out" room on the Biggest Loser game.  I like this one:

"Don't lose sight of what you want!  Don't lose sight of what you're entitled too!" 

I want to be happy, healthy, and skinny.  And I have the right to be happy, healthy, and skinny.  I don't have to be fat.  I choose to be fat.  I can choose to change.  I am choosing to change.

sometimes I give up. And then I come back!

Went on a little hiatus.  And by hiatus, I mean I got fat again.  I had a super fat two weeks.  I could even feel the weight gain in my pants.  I was embarrassed, and honestly feeling kind of hopeless.  School was piling on top of me and I panicked.  When I weighed last week, it said I had gained +2.6 pounds!  OUCH!  I didn't blog about it, mostly because it would've just been me making excuses.  The wii fit didn't record the weight gain, which was actually unintentional on my part.  But!  I was able to work off most of the 2.6 this week.

This week when I stepped on the scale, it was only a +0.2.  Which means I got rid of 2.4 of the 2.6 gained. Which is awesome, even though never gaining the weight in the first place would've been better.  I only got to work out twice this week, but that was two more times than the last two weeks. 

Exercise is my key.  Now if only I could remember that even when I'm stressed out, it would all be okay!

"The difference between goals and achievement is motivation."

Current weight: 175.3
Next goal: 169 lbs. I need to lose 6.3 lbs to get there 

so I creep. yeahhhh.

Another -0.2 pounds lost.

What is that?  I'm not sure...but at this rate, it will take me years to get to my goal. 

I'm exercising more, which is awesome, but I feel like I could do a lot better on my food choices.  And getting in that third exercise a week would also be great.
Next weekend, with 3 work outs and no snacking at preschool should make for a very good week. 

Current weight: 175

Next goal: 169 lbs. I need to lose 6 lbs to get there

Whoops, forgot!

Last week was only -0.2 again.  I didn't weigh in on Saturday again to see if there was more hidden weight. If there was hopefully it will show up on tomorrow's weigh-in.  But I won't lie, I wasn't very good this week, so I won't be surprised if its no bueno tomorrow.

Current weight: 175.3
Next goal: 169 lbs.  I need to lose 6.2 lbs to get there

I've learned to breathe!

I know that probably sounds weird and/or ridiculous.  When I walked into the door from working out and declared it to Justin, he made a smart ass comment about breathing in, and then breathing back out again.

But seriously guys, I ran an entire mile on the track without stopping AND without getting any sort of side/lung cramp.  This is news!

My Uncle Luis e-mailed me after I wrote about not being able to run very far without getting crippling side cramps.  Since I've started my work out routine again, I could generally only run 2-3 laps around the track without being in pretty severe pain, and then would have to walk 1-2 laps, and then run 1-2 again, alternating back and forth so I could get my breath back and alleviate the pain in my side.  Anyways, he suggested breathing in for 4 counts and breathing out for 4 counts, using my steps as indicators--then moving to 2 and 2 when my breathing picked up.  Stephanie from work also suggested the same thing to me when I saw her at work.  And let me tell you, THIS WORKS.  So seriously, thank you to both Luis and Stephanie.

It was amazing to be able to keep up with the other people on the track.  I always felt like such a loser for only being able to run a few laps and then walk when other people are running laps around me.  While I'm still not in awesome shape, I know I was in good enough shape to run more than 1/4 of a mile around a track.

After my work out, I was thinking about it, and I've never not had side cramping when running.  I always just assumed that it had something to do with me never being in excellent shape or because I've always been some kind of overweight/obese, and that's what happens when fat people try to run.  I've played soccer most of my life, but the nice thing about that sport is as a defender you're not generally running the entire game, so I always had moments of rest, so the side cramps never completely immobilized me.

I know its silly to be excited about "learning to breathe," but this is cool.  Now I can concentrate on running further and longer instead of feeling like I'm going to keel over and die at the rec center.

Woot!

where was that hiding?

-1.1 pounds.

Okay, so usually I don't weigh two days in a row. Its a bad habit to get into, especially your weight can fluxuate so much at even given time or day based on so many different factors its ridiculous.

But...have you ever just woken up in the morning and felt skinny?  Well this morning, I did.  And I figured, "oh, what the hell, it can't hurt."  And it was great!  :)

This was what I was looking for yesterday.  A little bit of result for all the ass kicking I did in the gym this week.  Hopefully next week will be just as awesome!  yay!

Current weight: 175.5
Next goal: 169 lbs.  I need to lose 6.5 lbs to get there

well that was a let down

-0.2 pounds.

That was pretty disappointing.  But I won't let it get me down.  I'm going to keep exercising, and keep working at this.

Current weight: 176.7
Next goal: 169 lbs.  I need to lose 7.7 lbs to get there