Sunday, January 29, 2012

I'm better than a half pound!

-0.5 pounds

Sad panda.  Wasn't as active this week as I could've been.  Starting work training and everything has been crazy and up in the air.  Walked on the beach yesterday to try and get my butt moving again.  By the way, its REALLY hard to walk long distances in sand!  I can't even comprehend how Matthew McConaughey runs in that shit...lol.

Next week will be better.  I just have to stay out of the coffee at work.  I'm pretty disappointed that I'm working for a place that had hardly any sugar free options.  Just 2 "No sugar added" options, and the nutrition online is pretty vague.  I get free drinks all the time, but don't have many "safe" options.  Oh well!  :)

Current weight: 154.5 pounds
Going to the movies weight to lose: 6.5 pounds

Friday, January 20, 2012

I definitely almost published this in the paradise blog...whoops!

-1 pound.  :)

I know I was capable of more, butttttt, happy hour at Moose McGillycuddy's happened, and I had two very large, very fatty drinks there.  That's okay.  I made that choice, and I'm okay with it.  

Other than that, I've been fabulously good.  Did I mention how easy it is to eat well here when you can just eat fresh fish all the time?  We went to this pita place the other day, and I had fresh, raw ahi in my pita.  Freaking fantastic.
The day I got married--
The heaviest I've been


I was thinking about myself as a whole this morning, about how far I've come, and how I don't have that much further to go.  :)

As of today, I've lost 69 total pounds.
In Biggest Loser style, that's a total percentage of weight loss of 30.8%.
I'VE LOST NEARLY A THIRD OF MY FORMER SELF.  That is a crazy weird thing to think about.

My freshman year in high school--
The skinniest I've been




ANNDDDD...I'm a mere 10 pounds away from not being overweight anymore.  I think back to the early days of this blog, when I was counting down to not being obese anymore...and now I can see the line of normal/overweight.  For final goals, I'm hoping to rest somewhere around 130, which is pretty close to the middle of my BMI range.  :)


Current weight: 155 pounds
Going to the movies weight to lose: 7 pounds

Friday, January 13, 2012

Good start!

-2 pounds!

Being active here has to be one of the easiest things in the world.  Hiking is fantastic, and yes, of course I want to go find a waterfall that I can swim in (possibly even naked if we're alone...haha.) 

The whole outside is my gym, I don't have to worry about it being cold, and any place we could want to sight see can easily be made into exercise that doesn't even seem like exercise.  I'm excited, because I think I'm finally going to finish this thing.  :)

We went to two different waterfalls this week, both were extremely hard to get to, but so worth it once we got there.  Check out thepiepersinparadise.blogspot.com for pictures of the places we've been.

New Goal:  As soon as I get to -10 pounds, we're going to the movies!  :)  They're pretty expensive, and there isn't a theater close to us either, so it will be a goal treat.  I always liked the little goals better--made the whole journey seem that much more attainable.

Current weight: 156 pounds
Going to the movies weight to lose: 8 pounds

Friday, January 6, 2012

And your current weight is....

beep....beep....beep....beep....beep....beep....GASP!  *Bob slaps his cheeks with both hands*

lol, we just watched Biggest Loser the other night.  If you haven't seen it, the above will seem crazy to you...

So, my value village scale says that I weigh...
158 pounds!

...huh?

I made Justin came over and check that I was reading that right.  He said it was right in between 157 and 158.  (From now on, I'm just going to round up, since this is a normal scale and not a digital scale like the wii.)

So on September 17th, I weighed 162.7.  I've lost almost 5 pounds since then?!

Believe me, you're as shocked as I am.  I was expecting a 5, possibly even a 10 pound weight gain, based on how I've been eating and how I see myself in the mirror.


After the disbelief went away, then the hope came in.  I didn't lose myself!  I'm still on track!  I can do this!  :)

Justin told me the other night when we were talking that he felt like I had lost the confidence in myself that he had seen before.  And I think he's right.  When I look in the mirror, I'm seeing someone who has gained a lot of weight again, and I'm not loving myself anymore.  I saw fat, fat, fat.  How sick is that?  The human brain is powerful, that's for sure.  Also just means I'm slightly crazy...lol.

The other day when we went hiking, I put on my bathing suit for the first time here--I felt gross.  And it made me grumpy, and self-conscious, and I didn't want to go out.  I've gotta learn to work through that.


Here's to new beginnings....again.  Here's to finally finishing this thing once and for all, and as Justin keeps saying, "Here's comes the two piece bikini!"  (I even shook my head as I typed that....lol.)

Thursday, January 5, 2012

aloha!

There's nothing like moving to a place that requires you wear clothes that show your body all of the time.  Wearing my bathing suit yesterday nearly caused an anxiety attack.

I bought a scale at Value Village today.  We didn't bring the wii with us, so I won't be using the wii fit to weigh myself anymore.

First weigh in tomorrow morning.

I'm sorry if I let anyone down by "pausing" my journey.  I don't like to use the word quit because I still don't entirely view it that way, even though I know I've gained.  Denial.  I definitely let myself down.

But I'm checking the self loathing at the door, and starting anew once again. 
I wonder how many times I will say that in my life?  God knows I've already said it plenty.  Doesn't matter.

I'm only living in the present.  And the present is me finishing this immediate process and loving myself.  And then I only have to maintain my journey for the rest of my life, right?  :)