That's better

-2.2 this week.
That's awesome compared to last week.

I haven't made it to the gym.  I had finals Monday and Tuesday (4 in two days), and then I've been working most of the week.  And I'll be working everyday through Tuesday, and then we're out of here Wednesday, only to be back Sunday morning.  Woo for working!

I'm going to treat Christmas the same way I did Thanksgiving, and I think everything will be fine.  Maybe when we're at Justin's, we'll walk down to the beach by his house, because walking back up the hill is insane, but it will be amazing exercise.  :)

Merry Christmas!  My next weigh in falls in Christmas, so we'll see when I can weigh in.  I'll probably still do it on Christmas morning, just have to adjust since I can't really weigh in naked in Justin's living room.  :)

Current weight: 184.3 lbs
Weight to lose in order to be 'overweight' and not 'obese':  9.3 lbs

zeroed out

-0.  +0.  Nothing this week.

Nothing is always better than a plus.  Its been a bad week, honestly.  I've been sick since Monday. 

Only had water aerobics once.  But I must say, Sarah kicked my ass during it.  I was the only one that showed up, so we just did ab workouts and swimming, and man, I'm still feeling it two days later.  So even though nothing showed up on the scale, I can still feel my muscles, and to me, that's just as much progress as a number.

Next week will be better.  I just have to make myself go to the rec since water aerobics is over with.  And I'll be honest, I haven't counted points in weeks.  I should probably go back to that, especially now that the holidays are approaching. 

Later!

not a pure morning, a fat morning

-1.3 pounds.

I'll admit, I was relieved, because this morning was a "fat" morning.  Have you ever had those?  You just wake up, and you feel fat.  Even before putting on clothes that don't fit right or looking in the mirror.  Yeah, it was one of those morning.  I was reluctant to even get on the scale.  But it turns out its all in my head!  Haha.

Justin is sick, and I've been feeling pretty crappy as well.  Yesterday, I pretty much only ate cereal except for lunch.  I had it for breakfast, came home and had a lean cuisine for lunch.  Went to Kindergarten, came home, had a little bit of soup.  Then had a big bowl of frosted mini wheats before I went to work.   Then had a small bowl before I went to bed.  I didn't realize until I was laying in bed that I had eaten cereal 3 times in one day.  Probably not an amazingly healthy choice, but it was what I was craving.  Weird.

Slowly inching my way towards the next goal.
I was trying to think about long term goals, so I put our potential Kauai trip as the final destination.  We would go sometime in June 2010, which is roughly 27 weeks away.  If my ultimate goal is 135-140, I need to lose between 1.7 and 1.9 pounds a week for 27 weeks to be my "ultimate weight" when we go to my favorite tropical paradise.  I was telling Justin when I first thought about this that I've never been "skinny" when we went to Kauai.  Even in 3rd grade I was getting pretty chunky by then.  I'm actually kind of stoked to think that I'll be in Kauai and not be scowling at all the beautiful women in 2 pieces...lol. (Yes, that's the petty, critical fat women that is inside of me).  But anyways, enough fantasizing about the sun.  It's getting ready to snow here!  Boo!

Oh, and I did sign up for water aerobics next semester.  It is at 8 AM, which sucks, but I have classes at 9 anyways, so whatever.  And I got Justin and my friend Stephen to sign up too!  Yay!  Spreading the love of water aerobics.  And hopefully, if we can get our schedules to line up even a little, I'm going to start working out with my friend Linda, who lived on my floor last year.  :)

See you next week!

Current weight: 186.5 lbs
Weight to lose in order to be 'overweight' and not 'obese':  11.5 lbs

Thanksgiving couldn't take me down!

I know I said I would weigh yesterday, but I left Pullman without my wii fit, and we don't have a scale at my house.  So I had to wait until this morning.

But still, GREAT NEWS!
-1.8 pounds.

I did so good.  I didn't deprive myself (except for easy cheese, stayed AWAYYY from the easy cheese!), and just portioned out a half a cup or a cup of everything.  (I asked Ellen not to put butter in a little bowl of mashed potatoes, so I could still have mashed potatoes without worrying about how much butter was in them).  I had a piece of pumpkin, and just didn't eat the crust.  I was really proud of my self-control.  I did eat a lot of turkey, but that's alright, right?  :)

Have to work a long time today.  2-11. Crazy shoppers.  They definitely destroyed the store yesterday.  But I do get a lot of exercise at work...running up and down, get this shirt, get that shirt, fold those jeans.  :)  Its good for me.

Current weight: 187.8 lbs
Weight to lose in order to be 'overweight' and not 'obese': 12.8 lbs.

*shrugs*

-0.2 pounds.

I'm not sure what happened this week.  Well, I ate 2 cookies on Tuesday.  Maybe it was that.  hahah.
I went to water aerobics both days, and worked my ass off.  Maybe muscle building?  I'm honestly have no idea.

I'm worried about Thanksgiving, I'm not going to lie.  Hungry Girl just sent out her survival guide, and besides making all your own food, you just have to pick and choose, and have will power.  lol.  I think I am going to bake something "better" for desert though, so at least I have that.  We'll see.  I'm just excited for the holidays, and family.  I miss my family a lot.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
And since I usually weigh in on Friday, my next weigh in will be the day after Thanksgiving.  I decided that I'm still going to do it..that skipping a week because it has the potential to be bad is cheating.  And maybe I'll surprise myself!  We'll see.

Body pic

I know people have been requesting this, especially my long lost friends who don't live in P-Town, so here it is.  Probably the first picture I've taken with my whole body in the picture since...well forever.  And I apoligize in advance, but I'm not all cool and emo and know how to take pictures of myself in a mirror.  (Why the hell do people do that all the time anyways?)  lol, anyways, here it is:

And just for a point of reference, so to speak, are some pictures of me in January (the one with Dan and Kim), and in May (with Tricia, Kim, and Lena.)  The biggest differences are in my face and stomach (and not to mention that dress was WAYYYY too small for me.  lol.)

Dining out

-2.2 pounds!

I'm proud, because I ate out 3 different times this week, which is, well, 3 more times than normal.

I had a munchies dog on Saturday night with Justin.  I wasn't going to get one, because I assumed they were super fatty, but when the guy brought the box out, they said "turkey franks" on them, so I gave into my desires for a delicious grilled hot dog with tasty onions on it.  Haha.

Then Justin and I went out to Fireside Grille for the first time on Tuesday night.  It was very delicious.  I got the teriyaki chicken with grilled vegetables and sticky rice.

Then on Wednesday I went to Lewiston with Jes, Stephen, and Chris.  We ended up eating at Applebee's, which is fine because they have the points right on the menu.  (Did I tell you how good the steak and portabello mushrooms is?  Butters took us there awhile back, and it hit the spot!)  Anyways, I got the steak again, but I did find myself picking at the massive nacho Chris ordered and the delicious boneless buffalo wings that were also on the table.  YUM!  Haha, but I didn't eat too much, and I still had a good week!

I'm always afraid when I end up eating out because no matter how hard I try to "be good," you never know what hidden oil or something else fatty the cook behind the counter added into your meal.  But dang the food was good!  :)

Well my family is here for the weekend (And I WILL be good!), so see you next week!

OH, and P.S.  In case you didn't see my facebook status earlier this week, I OFFICIALLY weigh less than my driver's license says I do.  This is probably the first time ever.  Haha.  My license says 195, by the way.  Woot woot!

Current weight: 189.8 lbs.
Weight until next goal: 14.8 lbs.

on the way down!

-2.4 pounds this morning!  woot woot!

The funny thing was I was standing on the wii fit, and told Justin not to look in case it was bad.  He laughed and asked if that would change the results.  Of course!

I was a little worried because I didn't go to water aerobics on Monday due to the last of my medication giving me horrible stomachaches.  I'm being lazy again because I'm at a point where I know what is "good" and "bad" and just eat the "good" stuff and in turn don't count points.  Need to get my calculator back out and glue it to my hand.

When I was brushing my teeth this morning, I was standing in front of the mirror nekkid and noticed that my "fat scars," as I labeled them earlier in this venture are starting to fade.  Obviously they're still there, but they're not as red, or gross looking.  The human body is great. :)

Have a great weekend!

Current weight: 192 lbs.
Weight until next goal: 17 lbs.

P.S. I just noticed that I'm closing in on my starting weight from the very FIRST time I did Weight Watchers, back in the 8th grade.  I started at 186.6 (don't ask me how I can remember that).  Its almost disappointing that at that time I was sure that I would never get fatter than that.  I feel like a lot of folks say that.  Oh well, I'm on the way down, and feeling good.  :)

Unexpected, but nice.

Okay, I'm going to admit something here, but you can't judge me.  I'm human, I make mistakes.
I had McDonald's french fries this week.  OMG.
Haha, I got off work last weekend, and I was starving.  Everyone was at the volleyball game, and the last thing I wanted to do was go home and cook after working.  So I decided to grab something to eat on the way home.  McDonald's has those chicken breast sandwiches which aren't too bad if you cut the cheese and mayo, so I got into the drive thru to get one of those.  As soon as I got to the ordering thing, I could smell french fries.  (I think they cover the menu in the grease, or something.)  I look at the prices, and for only a dollar and some change more, I could have french fries and a diet coke with my sandwich.  So I say, what the hell, I'll only eat a couple and throw the rest out of the window.  hahaha, not even close.  As soon as I tasted those damn things, I devoured them.  Didn't even touch the sandwich, just devoured a medium french fry before I even made it back into Pullman from Moscow.  Like I said, I'm weak sometimes.  As soon as I got in the parking lot, I felt guilty.  Is that weird?  That certain foods make me feel guilty?  And then I was like, "okay, that wasn't that bad, I just won't tell anyone."  Haha, that seemed to make it worse.  I looked up the points when I got inside, and the sandwich I ordered was only 7 points, and the damn french fries were 8!  Still not end of the world amount of points, but still pretty bad.  And from there, I felt like I had cursed the rest of my week, because no matter what I did, I had those french fries looming over my head!

But besides all that, I got on the scale this morning, and boom!  -1.1 pounds.  I literally jumped off the wii fit board and danced a little bit.

So the moral of the stories is don't cheat kids, and no matter what anyone says, McDonald's french fries are freaking delicious, especially after not eating them for 6+ months.

Current weight: 194.4
Weight 'til next goal: 19.4

ulcers. :(

-0.7 pounds.

Not much, but still going.  Need to kick up.

Dieting has been hard this week as I'm on a couple of different antibiotics again.  My doctor is pretty certain I have stomach ulcers.  Yuck.  So the pills I'm on require me to fill my stomach when I take them, and a lot of the time they still cause nausea even if I eat a full meal.  So my eating schedule has been off, and filled with a lot of saltine crackers and ginger ale.

I'm hoping next week will be a little better.

Current weight: 195.5
Pounds to next goal: 20.5

I'm glad I didn't succomb to Smokey's! :)

Lost 1.1 pounds.
Down to 196.2 pounds.
Lost a total of 25 pounds!  woot!

Stoked, because Justin and I headed home from Tuesday-Thursday, and there's something about going elsewhere that messes up my diet.  That, and I forgot my points calculator.  But it all worked out!

Progress is progress!
Pounds to next goal: 21.2 pounds.

I saw this, and it cracked me up:

50th post!

197.3 pounds.
Lost 0.4 pounds....haha.  Anything is better than nothing, right?

As of last week, when I broke my 200 mark, I bumped down to the next point range, which is just 2 points less.  What I'm realizing is I need to figured out how to cut my big meals by 1 or 2 points.  This last week, I was going right through all my points nearly everyday, and obviously that's not a good habit to get into--when I hit 175, I'll have to drop 2 more points.

I'll just have to cut out some of the meal items that I was eating before that were relatively high.  (French Dip, 9 points, for example).  Just by making smarter choices, I can kick my weight loss back into high gear.  Or even with the french dip example, use my own 1 point bread and not the hoogie rolls, and that would cut out 4-5 points, depending on which kind we get.  Little things like that will make my counting easier.  For lunch, I've been making a turkey and cheese sandwich, and that's only 3 points.  :)

Butters is heading into town today, and he's taking us out to dinner at Applebee's.  :)  I need to do my research now, to find a point friendly dish from there.  (They used to have WW points right on the menu, but then they got sued because they weren't accurate. hah, nice right?)  They do have nutrition guides online, so I just need to scour them for the best entree. 

See you next week!

GOAAAALLLLLL

YAY!  Jumped on the scale this morning, and what did I see?

-3.1 pounds!  Hot damn!

Which puts me at 197.8 pounds.  YIPPEEE!
So not only did I drop below 200, but I dropped below my original 10% goal.  I made that one a long time ago...it was to lose 10% of my starting weight, which would've been at 198.1, and I've surpassed that!

You guys, I'm so stoked.  I worked hard this week.  In water aerobics, and in not snack off of Justin's plate...lol.  Or Stephen's when we eat lunch in the Cub.  Yay!

Oh, and I do realize that this weigh-in in a day early.  I'm going to start weighing in on Fridays because it works better for me.  I have zero classes on Friday, and this way, the weekend will be the beginning of my weeks, and I feel that will better help me not cheat so much, because I always want to start my weeks out well.  So Fridays from now on.

SOOOO good.  :)

NEW GOAL:  (Always need to have this laying around for reference)  To get to 175 pounds.  (Why?)  Because 175 pounds is the weight I have to be to be considered "overweight" by the BMI and not "obese."  And let me tell you, it will be a great day when I weigh myself and the wii fit doesn't tell me I'm obese.  :)

plateau...dang

Dang, I gained 0.2 of a pound...lol, so nothing really.  200.8 pounds.

But I didn't lose.  :(
Its okay though, I was prepared for this.  Last weekend was horrible.  Drank a lot, and when I drink, I get the most ridiculous munchies.  I think I was putting easy cheese on cheeze-its with Stephen.  Ew.  So that probably has a lot to do with this, plus, I had a few coffees this week because I've been so tired and not sleeping very well.  If I get a tall, nonfat sugarfree caramal machiatto from starbucks, its only two points.  But I was getting mochas from other places, and I have no idea how bad those are.
And I missed a day of water aerobics due to not feeling good and being at the doctor.

I know these all sound like excuses, well, because they are, but at least I know what I did that got in the way.  And next week, I can get more sleep, attend class, quick drinking those mochas, and get my ass back in gear

This is okay, because my weight loss will be a continued journey through the rest of my life, and I'm going to have many bumps and backslides.  And then I'm going to have an awesome week next week.  :)

annndddd...almost there.

Lost 1.5 pounds. 
Now down to 200.6. 
0.7 and I would've been under!! 
Haha, its alright.  All with time, right?

so I creep...yeaahhh.

Haha, talk about creeping below 200.
Lost 1 pound.

And in all honesty, this was a horrible week, and I was relieved to see the scale not go up.
We partied on Saturday and Sunday, beer pong both nights. And when I drink, even if I'm drinking light beer, I get the serious munchies. Its horrible. So both nights I was snacking on chips and dip, which is TERRIBLE for you. haha. So I started my week out bad, but I just told myself we would walk this week. We didn't.

We had 3 more BBQ's this week, and while I opted for the veggie burgers, they tasted like they had been cooked in hamburger grease, so that probably wasn't a great choice either. AND, I had a cookie! lol. Its ridiculous how I'm like, oh fuck, I had a cookie (and a rice krispie at another one of the BBQ's), I'm going to gain 3 pounds.

Also, Monday was a holiday, so I didn't have water aerobics, so only one day of working out this week.

So yeah, bad week, but still a little progress. So this next week, when I kick ass at my diet, I'm going to break 200! IT NEEDS TO HAPPEN.

Catch you next Saturday, when I will weigh below 200!

pound by pound

Down 1.1 pounds this week, down to 203.

I feel like because I wanted to break 200 so bad, we're slowly going to creep there...lol.

Actually, I will admit I wasn't as fantastic about counting points this week. I start to get lazy because I know which foods I can eat and which I can't, and then just kind of wing it throughout the day. I know this next week I need to step it up again. And I need to stop snacking off of Justin' s plate, because we all know the foods he can eat will make me gain lotsss of weight. lol.

But yeah, still a loss, so I'm not disappointed, but I just wish we could hurry up and break that 200 mark already. I want to leave the 200's, and never return again! :)

Oh, and I bought a pair of size 16 shorts at Wal-mart last night, and they FIT! Exciting, especially because my size 18's were looking a little ridiculous on me. I could pull them off when they were zippered and buttoned up. Yay for new sizes!

discovery!

Okay, my friend Jes told me about this one, and I tried it, and it was delicious!

Take a graham cracker (I got low-fat cinnamon ones), break it in half, put two tablespoons of fat free cool whip (or another kind of whipped cream...fat free is key though) into the middle of the two, and put them in the freezer.

When they come out, they're delicious! Like an ice cream sandwich! yummm!

I hope my number is going to be good on Saturday. Justin pointed out that because I'm working out so hard in water aerobics (my ass muscles hurt like a mother!), that my number may not be as big because while I'm losing fat, I'm also gaining muscle. So we'll see!

See you Saturday!

Okay, that's A LOT better! :)

Down to 204.1!

As for numbers, they're kind of confusing, because if those 3 pounds were indeed "real," that means I lost 4.6 pounds this last week, which is insane. haha.

But in terms of weight loss, I lost another 1.6 pounds this week, on top of losing that extra weight that I may or may not have gained. Like Josh pointed out, it could have just been a huge poop...lol.

The diet has been good though, I mostly back on track. I'm treating myself with small things, like eating out at Subway, so I'm still not going over on points, but still having a "treat."

Ooohhh, and last night, I finally pulled some recipes off of hungry-girl.com (great website, by the way), and I made shrimp egg rolls and vegetable fried rice. They were actually quite good, and 1 serving of rice was 4 points, and 2 egg rolls were 3 points. Awesome! :) And Justin really likes them too...he's actually eating the leftover egg rolls for breakfast right now. Haha.

I went to my water aerobics class on Wednesday, and let me tell you, that class is going to kick my ass, but in the best way ever. The workouts are so low resistant, but you can really feel yourself working as well. Doing crunches in the water is super hard, but doesn't hurt my neck or back like it does when I try to do them on the ground. Needless to say, I'm super stoked for the rest of the class, and also to be able to navigate the pool with those silly foot weights on. Its hilarious, because when you go out into the deep end, the weights want to float, so you end up flipping onto your back or your stomach. Haha, it's pretty hilarious. Not to mention all the girls in the class who don't want to get their hair wet....we were doing exercises and the water was really started to slosh around, and she literally screams "OH MY GOD MY HAIR IS GETTING SOAKED!" I laughed. We're in the pool....duhhh.. Haha.

Well, I feel were back heading in the right direction. Getting close to cracking that 200 mark.
See you next week!

WTF?

Okay, I almost didn't post this, but I feel it wouldn't be honest, and I'm over it now, but I was definitely upset last night.

I gained 3 pounds.
Good God, I nearly cried. How disappointing, right? Okay yeah, I ate a hamburger, and a piece of pizza, but 3 pounds?! How does that even happen?

But I'm over it now. It's a minor setback, not a failure or something to get depressed over. I'll shed it off this week, and be back on track to my goals next week.

I got my share of junk food that I had been craving, and don't need it again for a long time. I walked A LOT today, and I plan to walk at least one from, either to or from school everyday this week.

OH! and I signed up for a water aerobics class, and from the sounds of it, its going to kick my ass, which is AWESOME. Mondays we do a routine, and Wednesdays we'll do rounds of different activities, both in and out of the pool. When I first walked in, I panicked because all the girls in the class were skinny. But I took a deep breath and told myself that this class would put me one step closer to one day being skinny like them. :)

no weigh in today

So I know there should be a weigh in and an update today, but Justin and I went home for the weekend, and I don't have a scale. Haha.

It's been a challenging end of the week, as we came home on Thursday. I ate a hamburger. (OMG!) But we did go walking a whole bunch yesterday around Seattle to make up for it. So I don't know what the number is going to be once I get a chance to weigh. But I'll probably do it tomorrow, or may wait until Monday morning since I usually always weigh in the morning. We'll see.

restating goals

I figured I would restate my long term goals, since they kind of got lost in the past entries, and I had to go back and check to make sure I knew them myself...haha.

So, the first long term goal is to lose 10% of my starting weight, which is 22.1 pounds. So, 198.1 would be the weight I would get to for that goal. (Almost there!)

And the next goal after that is to get to 175 pounds, as that would officially mean I was overweight, and not obese, according to the Body mass index, or BMI.

Those are just two long term goals to put out there for myself, so I have something to look forward to besides my ultimate goal of weighing between 120 and 140 pounds. Smaller goals are more easily attainable. :)

success!

-2.2 pounds.

Didn't meet my goal, but its also because Justin and I have been sick as hell this past week. I was on antibiotics, and he's just been sneezy/coughy/gross...lol.
Needless to say, we only got out and walked once this week, because both of us were exhausted and gross feeling.

But I still got a number! Even if it's not 3 pounds, 2.2 is pretty damn close. :)
At first Justin said we could still go to the movies, but not the one I wanted, because I didn't meet my goal. But he was joking. We're bored, so we're still going to go to the movies.

The Wii Fit is telling me to slow down, that I should only lose 3 pounds every 2 weeks...Weight Watchers says you should only lose a pound a week, but I think they say that because they want you to pay them longer...haha. I'm being healthy, I'm eating every meal, not skipping any and hitting most of the major food groups every day (still having hard time getting 4 servings of veggies, but I'm trying!) So I'm okay with the weight loss that I'm having right now.
And I know from previous experience that you lose quicker in the beginning and then you start to slow down eventually.
It's cool. Everything's cool. And we're going to see Funny People. :)

mmmm...brownies

Tried out the low-fat brownies recipe. Not bad.
When I was at the store, I picked up the low-fat brownie box and the normal brownie box and compared their nutrition labels. They were virtually the same! Actually, the low-fat brownies had 1 gram of fat, and the normal ones had 0.5 grams of fat. Ridiculous. And the low-fat ones were a $1.50 more! So I just wrote down how much oil and water you would add to the low-fat brownies and bought the normal ones.

They're not bad tasting, to be honest. They're not the greatest thing ever, haha, by very edible. :) And only 2 points per brownie! Not bad...

There was something else I wanted to say, but I forgot because I had to explain to Justin who Steppenwolf was...lol.

I want to print this and put it on the fridge. :)

I found this picture awhile back while I was doing research for my weight loss presentation for public speaking. It cracks me up everytime I see it, and I thought others may enjoy it as well. I wish I had a weight watchers cat. :)

down down down down down.

-2.6 pounds! yay! Down to 208.

I can never figure out exactly what does it each week. We hardly had time to walk or work out this week, but I got a number. Last week we hardly walked, and nothing.
I'm not going to worry about it though, or obsess about it.
I just know that I stuck to my eating plan, and I didn't cheat on my points, so I know that eventually it will keep working. When I woke up, I was worrying that I had already hit a plateau...haha, I need to calm down.

Last night we went to hang out with friends, and I put on a pair of jeans that I bought small (I still don't know why I do that), and they fit SO well now. I love that. :)

Slowly but surely heading down to get below 200. I think Justin and I decided to set a goal again for next week, because I always seem to do better with prizes in mind...yes, I'm a little kid. So if I lose 3 pounds again, we're going to go see Funny People. Because I really want to see that, and what better way to motivate myself? :)

zero

Trying not to be so incredibly disappointed.
Nothing this week. No loss, no gain, which I guess is a positive thing that I don't have to go backwards, but its just as frustrating struggling with forward motion.

I really guess the walking is key to my weight loss, because we hardly walked at all this week, and then I didn't lose anything.

And maybe I'll actually go to the rec center this week like I said I would last week.

This isn't that big of a deal, I'm just really disappointed. *shrugs*

Easy Curves is Justin's favorite commercial. lol.

Sometimes I wish you could choose where you weight is shed from. I know you can't, but it would be great if my breasts would stop deflating and my thighs would instead. Haha. I guess beggers can't be choosers. But every time this commercial comes on, I've seriously considered purchasing one. I'm just put off that the bar is only 9.99 and then the shopping is 12.99. That doesn't make sense! But I did some google searches, and apparently they work. A bunch of different women attest to it, included older women who say gravity has taken a toll on their breasts, as well as women who have breast fed. Maybe when I get paid again... :)



And this one is just freakin' hilarious. Essentially the same thing, but more provocative...lol.

fat scars

I find myself standing in front of the mirror a lot lately, just starring at my body. No, I haven't become a narcissist, I'm just looking for the changes. A majority of the time I'm doing this, its usually in the morning after a shower. While I am noticing my belly slowly shrinking, and the creases in my stomach becoming less, I can't help but wonder if I will ever be okay with my body.

I know that sounds weird...let me explain. If you look at my stomach, I have stretch marks all around my belly button, kind of like a woman who has given birth. To me they are ugly, a reminder that I let myself get so out of control and so fat that my skin couldn't contain all the fat. They start close to my belly button, and kind of fan out a little way. I remember the first time one popped up, it was just a little one, no bigger than the length of my pinky fingernail, right next to my belly button. It was probably a year and a half ago, or maybe a little more than that. I was lingerie shopping with Jes, and saw it in the dressing room. I was devastated, seeing it there, because I knew they were permanent. From there, I don't remember seeing anymore until a couple of days before our Hawaii trip, I looked and they were all over my stomach. I felt helpless, and knew that no matter how much weight I had lost, I could never wear a bikini and fell good naked, because even if I was skinny, I would still have these...scars.

That's kind of what I think of when I see them. They're like scars, to remind me of who I once was, but they don't necessarily have to hold me back. I can still be skinny, and still feel great about my body. I know they'll fade...I have others on my sides from middle school that are hardly noticeable anymore. I just worry too much I guess.

Harry Potter HERE I COME!

Stepped on the scale this morning, and it saidddd....

-3.3 pounds.

YAY!!! I was so excited I started jumping around and laughing. And its not even because yeah, now I get to do see Harry Potter today, but its because I'm still on a role and lost 3 more pounds.

I've decided to set specific goals for myself. The first was to lose 10 pounds, which now I have!

The next, kind of like what they do in Weight Watchers, is to lose 10% of your starting weight, which for me would be 22.1 pounds. That's the next goal, and I'm already nearly half way there.

After that, the next big goal is to get to 175, because that would officially (according to the BMI), put me as an "overweight" individual and not an "obese" one. Obviously I'm getting a little ahead of myself, but it's nice to have goals set ahead of time, so I have something to look forward too.

Justin and I were just discussing how I've been steadily losing weight by doing the points and walking every night, but what would happen if I actually started really working out? I get out of class at noon, and Justin works until 4 or 5, leaving me with nothing really to do. So maybe I'll go work out for an hour or 2 after I get out of class to take up some of my time. I think its a great idea. :)

The soccer game is on now, and its usually about 2 hours, and then we're going to see Harry Potter today! Because I lost 3 pounds! WOO!

exciting!

So, back when Justin and I decided to get married (about a week before the day, haha), I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to find an inexpensive used dress when I got home to Vancouver, so just in case, I ordered a cute white sundress off ebay so as least I had something to wear in case I didn't find a real wedding dress. (which I did, thank god, but not the point).

Anyway, the dress I purchased was from Torrid, and was a size 16. When I went to put it on, it didn't fit. It was a pretty depressing moment for me that I was now a Torrid 18. I had meant to take the dress to Spanky's and consign it, but for some reason I forgot it both times I went there when I was home for the summer, so it ended up coming with and has hung in the closet since.

This morning, when I went to get dressed, I decided to put it on for the hell of it, AND IT FITS.

Just figured I'd share that little nugget of excitement that I had this morning. :)

come on 3 pounds.

Justin and I made a deal that if I lose 3 more pounds this week, we're going to go see the new Harry Potter movie. Come on 3 pounds! :)

I made delicious tilapia today. Put some seasoning on it and baked it in the oven for 10 minutes. Delicious, and only 2 points for a fillet. Awesome, especially with a side of angel hair pasta. mmmmmmm...

I love discovering new foods that I good to eat. If anyone has any good, low fat food ideas, send them my way! :)

yessss!!

Lost 3.1 pounds!! YAY! I'm so stoked.
Down to 213.4, which means 8 pounds altogether since I restarted. So excited.

This past week I was eating smarter, leaving more points not eaten at the end of the day. I switched to the spray butter, which has no fat or calories, compared to the 5 grams of fat in "lite" butter.

My goal this week is to eat more fruit between snacks. I did better with not snacking as much, and if I really needed to, I stuck to a box of raisins, or the random assortment of 100 calories packs that I have in the cupboard. (And most of them are chocolate of some sort, which is nice, because I have been having killer cravings for chocolate. haha.)

Today Justin and I are going to the water park. It's cute, and I can get more exercise by running up the stairs to the water slide! :)

mmm...meat!

Okay, I've discovered another favorite food...haha. Justin and I were poking around Dissmores looking for something to make for dinner, and we decided to have brinner (breakfast for dinner), and I picked up some turkey sausage. They are SOO good. Only 2 grams of fat per link, they're very doable for my diet. And they're so damn good. Haha, it may sound sad, but I just feel so meat deprived. I would stab someone for a steak. Haha. Anyways, turkey sausage=win.

I'm feeling good about my weigh-in tomorrow. I hope I see progress. I've been working really hard this week, and we've walked nearly everyday. And I walked home from class one of the days too! :)

See you tomorrow!

nada

Okay, nothing this week. Didn't lose, didn't gain. Kind of sucks, but not something that I wasn't expecting.

We ate out quite a few times, and even though I always picked the lowest calorie salad or turkey wrap, I still think it was too much. And we hardly walked the rest of the week. We either got home too late, or I had to do homework or study. It was a long week, and though I was sad to see my family go, it will be nice to have my apartment back to myself. Haha. :)

This week, back on track. No jamba juice, coffee, or fast food. More smart ones, salads, and my own home cooking. Though I'm glad I got to eat my grandma's fried rice. SO SO delicious. :)

See you next week!

home cookin' fooooddddd.

Yesterday I ate my grandma's fried rice. It was so delicious, but I had no idea how to count it points wise.

We went on a super intense, long walk last night to try to make up for it. And I'm being super good today, and the rest of yesterday.

Hopefully I still get good results on Saturday. Just need to make sure we walk the rest of the week to keep the exercise up.

negative!

Down 2.2 pounds.

I now weigh 216.5. It's nice. I was hoping that number would be a little bigger, but then again, that's just me being impatient. I'm really proud of myself, and I am excited to see more results.

I'm giving myself mini-goals, that kind of coincide with the weight watchers points. Right now, I eat 31 points a day based on my weight. My next goal is to get to 200, because that's when I drop down in number of points per day I get to eat.

I can't help but wonder if my the negative number would have been bigger this morning if I hadn't gone out last night. Its not a big deal, because I had a great time, but I really have no idea how many calories are in a sex on the beach. *shrugs* I haven't drank since I started, and haven't been out with anyone, so it was fun.

chocolattteeee.

There's nothing worse than being PMS-y and on a diet at the same time.

I want a snickers!

feeling it.

Down 1.3 pounds. I've been weighing myself very randomly, so I think from now on I'm just going to weigh myself once a week, every Saturday.

I'm starting to feel skinny. Haha. Obviously I'm not skinny yet, but I'm motivated, and excited to see results. And even if I haven't lost enough weight yet to see any part of my body getting smaller, when I look in the mirror, I'm not disgusted with myself anymore, because I know as time goes on, the girl starring back at me will gradually become smaller.

Justin is so cute. We went to Old Navy today because they had a 5 dollar short sale, but they didn't have any bigger sizes. I told him they only had up through size 10, and all the fat women must have come and bought up the bigger sizes before we got there. He was like, "well, what are you, like a 12?" Haha, adorable.

I started to having cravings for terrible foods. Last night, I probably would've stabbed someone for a brownie or a chocolate chip cookie. Haha. I have fat free chocolate pudding, and they're great, but just not the same. Maybe in another week or two, I'll reward myself with a box of lowfat brownies.

Justin made some (terribly) delicious pasta-roni, but I was good, and made myself a bowl of mandarin oranges and cottage cheese.

Last week, I found a recipe for a very lowfat chicken enchillada. Dang, it was delicious. And Justin liked them too. I finally learning how to make things other than mac and cheese! :)

Time to go outside and soak up some vitamin D.

counting.

Down 2.2 pounds. :)

Yesterday was the first day all week we didn't go walking, because I was feeling terrible. I'm not sure what was wrong, I just didn't feel good at all. But today is a lot better. And of course today it's raining. But Justin is still set on walking anyways, since we missed yesterday.

Counting points has gotten easier. It's like riding a bike. :) And it helped that yesterday when we went grocery shopping I was able to buy "good" bread, egg beaters, and weight watchers frozen lunch thingies. It makes keeping my point intakes down a lot easier.

Well, Justin is yelling at me that we have to leave to go walking. So I'm off.

agua.

Went walking and did Wii Fit today.
I'm not seeing numbers on the scale yet, but I think it may have something to do with the MASSIVE amounts of water I'm drinking.
The water intake is both to be healthy, and because I want to be able to donate plasma. And the last time I went in they told me my veins weren't quite big enough, but with a little exercise, and a lot of water, they would be. So hopefully I can make some money!

My legs have been so insanely sore from all the walking, but its a good sore. I'm wanting the flexibility I had when I played soccer back, so I may start running around the neighbor instead of walking. We'll see.

Movie time with the hubby. :)

walking.

Went walking last night. It's really nice to do it here, as long as my allergies aren't acting up too much. I'm still reluctant to actually get up and go, but once I do, I'm glad I did. I'm just glad Justin is persistent. :)

When I got on wii fit to do yoga, it said I was down 1.1 pounds. woot!

Life is good. simple, but good. classes start next week.

my back

My back is doing A LOT better. My Pullman chiropractor was very impressed with how much I've improved since I last saw her in May. I'm stoked, because hopefully I'll be done soon. I think the yoga I've been doing has been helping as well. It's good. :)

I busted out the old weight watchers books, and I think they're going to be my key. I used them once before (8th grade summer going into freshman year), and lost 45 pounds. I know they work, I just need to utilize them. AND get a little bit better food options in the fridge. (It would also help if we had more money, ha.)

But I flipped through the books yesterday, and today have actually started adding up what I've been eating.
breakfast:
1 cinnamon raisin bagel: 3 points
2 tablespoons of whipped cream cheese: 2 points
1 cup of fat free milk: 2 points
lunch:
1 turkey cheese hot dog: 3 points
1 plain hot dog bun: 2 points
1 banana: 2 points
2 pieces of pineapple: 1 point
1 diet coke; 0 points

For dinner, I still have to eat at least 8 points, but no more than 16. And I'm supposed to be drinking at least 6 glasses of water a day, so I need to get back on that.

Justin and I went walking yesterday. Just for exercise, and something to do. It was nice. I'll do Wii fit tonight, and we may go walking again as well. :)

Speaking of Justin, I'm pretty proud of him. For the longest time, he was underweight on the wii fit, and just yesterday, he registered as normal weight. He's been working out everyday, and well, it doesn't matter what he eats. Haha. :) But he now weighs 141 pounds, which is normal for his height. He wants to weigh at least 150. I would love to weigh 150 pounds. :)

and....go (again)

Okay, I'm back, and we're starting again.

221 is the starting weight (at least I haven't gained any more weight in the past couple of months, right?)

I'm still seeing the back doctor for my car injuries, but my doc in Vancouver said I could go down to seeing the doc once a week for 4-5 weeks, and then would most likely be done. Which would be sweet. Because not only would that mean no more doctor visits, but also a settlement check. yeah money! haha.

Quick update on me: Justin and I got married in February, and last week we moved into our first apartment together here in Pullman. I'll be taking summer classes here shortly.

As for exercise: I did Wii Fit on Wednesday, Thursday Justin and I walked to campus (which takes a half hour, and is about 0.6 of a mile, so 1.2 miles there and back), and I did Wii Fit again yesterday. I know I get a rec center membership since I'm taking summer classes, I'm just not sure if it starts now, or when my classes start on the 22nd. I need to call them to find out, but I also don't want to jump right into hardcore working out. I'm easing into it by doing at least 30 minutes of wii fit, or some other form of exercise for at least the next week, and then I'll start really working out.

I know it might sound like I'm babying myself, but I'm so afraid of throwing my back again...I don't ever want to experience that pain again. It was terrible. (But also my fault, considering I worked out like...a couple of days after I was in a car accident, whoops!)

Oh, and I finally did the yoga on wii fit, and I actually really like it. It feels good to stretch (well, the ones that I can physically do right now), and apparently its really good for your back.

Well, that's it for now. But I promise I'm back, and serious this time. I've been very careful about my portion sizes, and getting lower fat content foods. I've found this turkey cheese bratwursts that are delicious, and they only have 6 grams of fat. Justin thinks I've already eaten too many of them, but I love them. Haha.

Oh, and speaking of healthy decisions, I have been coffee free since March 30th. It was hard to kick, but I'm glad I did. I have no problem waking up in the mornings now, and its less empty calories I have to worry about. I'm not completely caffeine free though, but I'm okay with that. I never have more than a 12 ounce soda a day if I do have any.

I know it seems like I've haven't posted...

And it's because I haven't.
I've still been eating relatively well, but I haven't stepped on a scale in quite awhile. Mostly because I'm afraid of what I'll see since I haven't been able to work out in nearly a month. But I'm promising myself, and Justin that we will work out after I'm done with my exams tomorrow.

I want to work out, but good god, my back has been hurting so much. And I've been having on and off migraines for over a week now, and my chiropractor told me they're from a strained muscle in my neck from the accident. I really wish I could just be done with all of it.

I'll post more when I know something. A new starting weight probably. And when we make it to the gym. Probably Saturday, since I'm on duty tomorrow night.

guess whose back?

okay, so a lot has happened recently, with none of it really including dieting.
We worked out once after my last entry, and then I hardcore threw my back out...so much so that I couldn't bend over, and getting in and out of bed hurt so badly I would start crying. That was not fun.

I have been seeing a chiropractor twice a week now since then, and I'm feeling tons better. I want to work out again so badly, but I'm so afraid I'm going to do something else to hurt myself. But I'm pretty sure I'll be starting again on monday, hopefully this time with no interruptions.

I am pretty frustrated since this time I seriously want to be healthy and lose some serious weight, and stuff keeps happening to get in the way of that. But I'm not going to get discouraged. I'm staying determined.

Oh, and haha, by the way, Justin and I got married on Sunday. Just an FYI. =]

not bad

Just for shits and giggles, I weighed myself this morning before work, and I actually lost 1.3 pounds.

Pretty awesome for not really getting any exercise all week.

Doctor's appointment tomorrow, and I'll be cleared to work out! woo!

some good news!

I completely forgot to weigh myself this week, though since I haven't worked out at all, I doubt there will be any improvement.

I see the doctor on Thursday for a follow up to my concussion appointment. My head has been feeling fine for the most part, its just my back that has been hurting so terribly. I finally got around to calling a chiropractor, but they can't see me until NEXT Tuesday. Blah. I guess that's definitely my fault for continuously forgetting to call them.

In better news, Justin PROPOSED TO ME ON SUNDAY NIGHT!!!
I said yes, of course, and now I have any more incentive to get on this thing.
The last thing I want to do is buy a plus-size wedding dress.

my head hurts!

Apparently I have a mild concussion. That's awesome.
The doctor told me that I shouldn't work out for awhile. That blows. Maybe I'll just wii fit it for awhile. So at least I'm doing something. Blah.
He said I'm going to have a headache for at least another week.
But he did say going to a chiropractor/massage therapist could help me feel better fast in my body, but I have to wait out the head. Great.

dizzy

Okay, so we worked out tonight, but maybe it was too early. I did the elliptical for about 15 minutes, and then got insanely dizzy. It scared me. Obviously haven't fully recovered from crashing into another car. I need to get in to health and wellness for a follow up check, so they can tell me I'm okay. Plus, I would really like to get rid of this head ache that I've had since Sunday. Its starting to irritate me.

I quit working out, put my swim suit on, and swam some laps. That was better, and easier for me. Then sat in the hot tub for awhile. It was nice.

Not a good week.

Only -0.2 pounds. Hah.

Just, didn't really go well. I only got to work out twice, and even those weren't fantastic work outs.

And then on Saturday (my birthday), my family, Justin, and I got in a car accident in Moscow. Nothing too serious, but still scary as shit and has left me sore as hell. Essentially a car slid on the ice, and right out into the middle of the highway, and we t-boned her. It was horrific. Have taken a couple of muscle relaxants and A LOT of ibuprofen because I seem to have had a headache since the crash.

Tomorrow night I'll go work out again and get back on my daily routine.
It was a bad week. I recognize this, and I'm not dwelling on it. Moving on, and getting back on track.

Something exciting: I went with Kim to her Dine with the Dietian program tonight, and she told us we can go online and find out exactly how many calories, fat, ect are in all the foods in Southside. I feel like that will make this a hell of a lot easier for me, and won't leave me guessing, which I feel like I've been doing a lot. This will definitely help.

Here's to a week of good eating, and lots of exercise. (And hopefully a massage to help out my poor body, when my dad gets all the insurance information sorted out!)

I realized I haven't updated all week, but its okay. I haven't fallen off the band wagon or anything. I even baked Justin an apple pie last night, and I'm not eating any of it! I just kept eating the apples as I peeled them. =]

My dad and sister are heading here today to celebrate my birthday with me, so if you don't hear back from me until Monday, that's why. My next post will probably be my next weigh in. Happy Birthday to me! Hopefully I can order light drinks! =]

First week

-4.2 pounds.

I'm so amazed. And so proud of myself. And so thankful that this is working. =]=]=]

Off to the gym!

goals in pictures.

I found these pictures yesterday when I was telling Justin how "hot" I was in high school. I know this is kind of silly, but this is where I want to be again weight/look wise: This is my freshman/sophomore year in high school, and I was an 11/12. and I guess the thing that makes me really sad about these pictures is that I thought I was fat then.

Break

This weekend was insane. I worked 12 hours Saturday and Sunday. I didn't get to work out either days, because I had to work ALL day Saturday, and Sunday, I just didn't feel good. But after my floor meeting tonight, Justin, Brian and I are hitting the gym again. A little bit of a break, but not enough to really throw off my schedule or anything.

When I get off my desk shift, I'm going to weigh myself, and we shall see if I've lost any weight. This was only my first week, so I'm going to be okay if nothing extraordinary happened. It was a lot of trial and error with different foods, and that's okay too. This is a long journey for me, and I know that. I'm prepared. =] But I would seriously be okay with 2 pounds. It would mean my body is working. =]

Now I just need to work on remembering to take my vitamin. I'm supposed to take it after a meal, so I just need to start taking it with me.

I'll post more later! =]

working.

Successfully worked out for the third time last night, but not for as long as I would've like, because I had to be on duty at 7. Thanks to Alyssa to holding the phone for me for 15 minutes so I could walk back from the REC and get food. =]
I had a salmon salad and some Thai shrimp last night. It was delicious. I wasn't sure how great shrimp was for you, but I used my weight watchers book just to get a general idea, and they're pretty good, depending on how their cooked. And I don't really have any idea of how the dining center cooked them, but I figured a handful of them wouldn't hurt. And man, they were good. =]

Last night when I went on my first set of rounds, I did them backwards. Usually, you start on the 12th floor, and go down through each of the floors, but to get more exercise, I started at the first floor and went up. =] I wish I would've done it for the second set too, but I was freakin' tired, it was midnight, and I had to be up at 7 to get ready and open the desk.

Other than that, nothing really new to report. Excited for my birthday, and mine and Justin's two year anniversary! =]

looking forward

Let me tell you....the one thing I'm looking forward to most after I've lost about 20 pounds....Being able to sit comfortably in this damn lecture hall in Webster. I honestly cannot fathom how anyone even a little heavier than me could sit in these seats. They suck. Hah.

Oh, and I decided today that I will not buy myself ANY more clothes until I can buy a smaller size. That way, I can not only concentrate on saving money and paying off my credit cards, but also give myself incentive to stick to my goal. =]

New shoes

Justin took me over to Moscow and I got new work out shoes, a new sports bra, and a new pair of basketball shorts to work out in. I also bought a daily woman's multi-vitamin, figuring it couldn't hurt to start taking those as well. It also guarantees that I get my calcium everyday, because as much as a love milk, I tend to forget to drink it.

We got back and went to the REC. I called Brian up and he went with us. The first time we went I did 15 minutes on the eliptical and went 1.5 miles. This time, I brought a magazine and took it slower, but went longer. My muscles definitely didn't scream at me as much for not pushing myself as far. I went a full 25 minutes, which was awesome, but the distance was only 1.75 miles. I just made sure to keep my heart rate up, that way I'm still burning calories.

From there I went to the various other machines that work and tone the different muscles in my body. I really like this one machines that Justin showed me that works the back of my arms. I hate how flabby and fat they are, and I'm excited that I'm working on them. The first time I did 3 reps of 10 on the machine, and this time I could only do 1 rep because those muscles were soooo sore when I started to work them out. It's okay though, they probably didn't know what to do because I don't think I've ever worked them out in any way, shape, or form.

With that, I'm heading to Justin's to pass out. I'm pretty sleepy, and though I feel good from working out, I'm exhausted. I just wish I would've eaten a little bit before I had gone, because by the time I got back to my room, I was feeling pretty lame because I was so hungry. But now I'm all better because I had a bowl of special k and some toast. =] My favorite.

Beginnings

I worked out on the wii fit for about twenty minutes. I waited too long, and now its super late, and I didn't want to do it too long because it's going to be hard for me to fall asleep right now as it is, and I have to get up tomorrow for class. ugh.

The wii said I weighed 224 pounds, so that's what I'm going with as my starting weight, since that's what I'll be weighing myself on consistently throughout.

I had dinner with Brian and had a (pretty gross) spinach turkey/ham wrap with honey mustard sauce. Though its supposed to be a "healthy option," the meat was awfully salty, which made it kind of gross. My baked lays were delicious though. =]

Along with all of this, I'm working on drinking the daily amount of water...but I have no idea how much it is. A little research on it told me that the 8 by 8 rule (eight 8 ounce glasses) is entirely too much, and you're supposed to only drink 4. Another post said to divide your weight in half and drink that many ounces of water. (Which, for me, would be 112 ounces, which is almost twice as much as the 8 by 8 rule, and that rule is disputed!) So I have no idea. But I have been filling up a water bottle and leaving it on my desk, which has helped me. I've probably had about two of them today, plus the two glasses I had with lunch and dinner.

With that, I'm off to bed. Thank you to everyone who has already given me encouraging words, including Kim and Tricia from my staff, who thought about my birthday and cake. =] They're getting healthy snacks instead. They're awesome. =]

Day 1 (for reals, hah.)

When I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, my whole body hurt. But surprisingly, other than some tightness in my shoulder blades and arms, I'm really not too sore, which is awesome.

Justin and I went for lunch, and I had a chicken burger and some broccoli soup. I feel like the soup wasn't the greatest choice, but it sounded good. I really wanted a salmon burger, but they were out. I have discovered that I love salmon. =]

I think I will do wii fit in an hour or so (I discovered that both the wii motes were dead when I tried to do it just a little bit ago.) But after that, I'll post my starting weight that it tells me, and that from here on I will weigh myself once a week every monday, and hopefull start to see everything happen as I want it to.

I was reading an article on how starting a weight loss blog (I guess lots of people do these), and they said I should write my "fat story." Hah. Maybe later. =]

I'm going to call Justin and see if we can go to Moscow tonight so I can buy better running shoes and a new sports bra. Seriously, I have the same one from when I was a small C, and now I'm a DD. It's VERY uncomfortable, and time for a new one. =]

Day 1 (kind of )

I haven't completely decided what I'm going to do with this blog. But I just feel like if at least one person is reading it, it gives me that much more motivation to keep going. Maybe I'll just write down how I think I'm doing, or I was thinking about taking pictures to get track of my progress. Obviously I'll put in weekly updates on weight loss. I guess it will just be a evolving blog. :)

Today was definitely more of a preparation day than the first real day of eating better. But I did work out. A lot.

Justin and I went to Safeway and I spent around 50 bucks on HEALTHY food. I stocked my fridge with fruit and yogurt, and put snacks on my shelf that are healthy for me. If only I had the money to just eat food I bought for myself, this would be so much easier. But because I will be eating a majority of my meals in the dining centers, this whole adventure will be that much more tricky. But I'm prepared.

Justin drug me to the REC center, and I'm definitely glad I went. I went 1.5 miles on the elliptical, and did various arm and leg exercises on different machines. Justin showed me quite a few different ones that work out different muscles in your body, and I can definitely say a few of those muscles I don't think I have ever used. Hah. But it was nice to find out which machines I liked to use and which ones gave me a good work out.

Our goal is to go to the REC 3 times a week. And my own personal goal is to use the wii fit on the days that we don't go to the Rec. I know that might become a little overwhelming for me, but its something to try. Or at least use the wii fit if we can't make it to the Rec. I'm really hoping that my schedule this semester is going to be attainable so I can see this whole thing through. I definitely want too. (Well , obviously. Hah.)

Tomorrow is the first day of eating only foods that are good for me (I just had left over pizza, but I'm not ordering anymore again for quite a long time), and hopefully this venture will really start.

I don't even want to know how sore I'm going to be tomorrow. :)